A partner’s role in labor & birth
Hiring a birth doula doesn’t eliminate the need for the birthing person’s partner. Rather, the birthing person’s partner is an essential member of a powerful birth team! As corny as it is, I like to think of a birth team as a 3 legged stool, with the legs being represented by the birthing person, their partner, and their doula. When each member of the team shows up and contributes based on their strengths, birth is much more likely to feel empowering and satisfying.
So, how can a partner show up and contribute during labor and birth?
The biggest advantage a birth partner has over every other person in the room is that they know the birthing person inside and out. The birth partner knows how their person likes to be encouraged and what motivates them, what is likely to stress them out or interrupt their flow. While healthcare providers and doulas develop relationships with the birthing person over time, the partner has an intimate knowledge of the birther that can be so powerful during the intense physical and emotional journey of birth.
A birth partner can show up in big and small ways for the birthing person, and it may be easier than you think it is to be a supportive and loving birth partner. Here are some excellent ways for a partner to show up during labor:
-set the tone of the room by maintaining a calm demeanor
-notice when the birthing person gets out of their flow and steers them back in
-encourage & reassure the birthing person by offering words of affirmation tailored to the way their person will internalize
-stay close by and offer massage, warm touch, gentle hugs & kisses
-be in touch with friends/family members
-fill out paperwork
Other ways a birth partner can show up that a doula will be participating as well:
-assist during position changes, help the birthing person use the bathroom
-be a guide for focused breathing
-offer water sips & bites of energizing food
-know birth preferences and advocate for them (including asking for time & space to discuss options)
-remain flexible, present, and supportive throughout
An engaged and loving birth partner is essential to an affirming and satisfying birth!